The First Day of the Rest of My Life

I have been doing ALOT of reflecting lately - almost too much reflecting.  I have realized that I do not like the person I have become in certain areas of my life.  In the last four years, certain situations have really taken a toll on who I am and who I want to be.  Well, let me rephrase that.  I have ALLOWED those situations to affect me, who I am and who I want to be.  There are so many things I want to change and I have been reflecting on them so much that I have been getting depressed.  Like really depressed. Overwhelmed with who I am and what I want to change.  And feeling like there is this mountain in front of me and it's impossible.  But then I was talking to a friend and they helped me put it into perspective.

Friend: It's like walking into a dirty house and just sitting there thinking about how dirty it is and getting overwhelmed.  Instead take it room by room and eventually the house will be clean.

Now for a clean freak like me, this made so much sense.  I would never come into my house with it being that dirty and just sit there and cry about how dirty it is.  I would start cleaning - like a crazy person.  What a perfect analogy for my life!  

I also was listening to some music and two songs came on, one right after the other and the lyrics have been stuck in my head.

Rascal Flatts - When the Sand Runs Out
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out
'Cause people do it everyday
Promise themselves they're gonna change
I've been there, but I'm changin' from the inside out
That was then and this is now
I'm a new man, yeah, I'm a brand new man
And when they carve my stone they'll write these words
"Here lies a man who lived life for all that its worth"

Kelly Clarkson - What Doesn't Kill You
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby, you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone


All of these things have just confirmed to me that I CAN CHANGE.  I can turn my life into something positive, something inspirational, something stronger.  (And obviously with God's help!)  There is no need to be depressed and sad about what could have been or how I could be different - it's just time to change.  So here's to "The first day of the rest of my life!"