I have been reflecting a lot as this week has been looming before me and as this date is coming closer and closer and I am realizing a lot of things. At some point in the last few years, I realized I have become very cynical about things or life in general. When I was younger people used to tell me I was like "sunshine" and I was always happy and looking for the good things in life. But lately I have realized I look at things from a much more negative stand-point. Something has happened in the last few years that has taken me from happy-go-lucky to debbie-downer. I actually looked cynicism up in the dictionary to see if that was really what my debbie-downerness was. Cynicism is "a disposition to disbelieve in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions". And yes! That's exactly how I feel. I no longer look at the good in things, but I seem to find the bad.
I think a combination of things has caused this and maybe some of it is just growing up. But I am the first to admit that being around negative people is no fun at all and so off I go to work on yet another part of my life. The actor Jeff Bridges once said, "Most cynics are really crushed romantics: they've been hurt, they're sensitive, and their cynicism is a shell that's protecting this tiny, dear part in them that's still alive." Maybe, just maybe, that's me?
Learning to respond in a positive manner is harder then people think. Learning to look at the world and see "the good" and truly and sincerely believe some people have good intentions is very tough. But I am going to try... and try hard.
Pray for me friends! This week is going to be a tough one, but I am going to focus on the good and try to be more of an optimist and less of a cynic.
One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. - Lucille Ball
