Hello Faithful Blog Readers!
Sorry I have been MIA for a while. I was not going to write about what has been going on, but mainly I am so overwhelmed, I am hoping that maybe it will be therapeutic.
The last three months have been insane. Ever since I called off my engagement I have had good days and bad days and this last week has been no exception. I have been asked almost every day how my wedding plans are coming, if I am excited or even where my fiance is... like really. I know people think that since I called off my engagement/wedding, that those comments shouldn't bother me, but THEY DO. They make me sad. They make me feel like a failure. They affect me. But! Moving on. So on top of all of those things, I went on a date. I thought it would be nice to "get out there again" and just meet people. (And who doesn't love a free dinner?!) The date went well and although I did not find him particularly attractive, he was kind and very sweet. So all in all I was content with my first date since my breakup. Then a few days later I received a text from said man that essentially said I was "too fat for him to continue dating". Ummmm... Excuse me? Yes. That's what I thought too. I know I am overweight but I have never been called the "Fat Girl", ever. I must admit what he said hurt me and even made me cry. But mainly what it did was solidify in my mind what I have been thinking for the last few months. Where in the world are the Godly, GOOD men?! I am saddened by the lack of quality men MY AGE in America. Really. It is bad people. It is sad.
Where are the men that are humble and teachable? (Proverbs 12:15) Where are the men that are HONEST? (Psalms 15:2-5) Where are the men who are selfless? (Eph. 5:25-28) Where are the providers? (1 Timothy 5:8) And most importantly the PROTECTORS - both physically and emotionally? (1 Peter 3:7) Why is it that CHRISTIAN men feel the need to be like worldly men? Why are they struggling with sexual sins (deep ones), materialism and even treating women poorly?
I know the answer is sinful nature. But really. Where are the men of integrity?! Where are the REAL men who will stand up and say, "I am a sinful man, but I will be a man of honesty and integrity and follow God?!"
What kind of man thinks it is okay to criticize a woman's looks?! What kind of man treats a woman like that? Not a Godly one. Where are the men that LOVE the woman they are with from the top of their head to their toes. The men who want to show her off and tell the world about her because she is so amazing. The men who make is so known to their woman that they love her that she never has to wonder or ask. Men who treat women like the princesses they are. Men who shatter insecurities with love.
(And I KNOW that some of these can be said for women. I know women are not helping this situation but I am focusing on men in this blog).
Needless to say friends. I am sad. I am dumbfounded. And I am shocked at the way men, who claim to be Christians, are acting.
I do not know what the solution is. I really don't. Other then men taking a stand and putting down pride in order to follow Jesus fully - along with discipleship.
But I do know that I am done with the dating thing for now. God is still working on me and dealing with ME on some things and so for now, it is best. And I also know that as a woman I am going to begin to pray for the men in my age group. I know there are many pressures in this world and they need to be covered in prayer. I know I am going to start vigorously praying for my future husband, that God would MOLD him into the man I described above. And I am going to strive to become the woman that THAT man deserves.
You are beautiful, and it's his loss! I agree, where are the Godly men??
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